Post 15: You Are Only 29?/ You Are 29 Already?! 107 to go!

Kat doodles about life and ranting over age:

Last year my birthday was a total disaster. I have spent the whole entire weekend pretty much in tears and I wish I had not taken time off from work. It was the first time in my life that I would wake up in the morning and clearly remember what has happened even I purposely tried to get myself so drunk and forget.

 In about a month or so I will be 29 years of age. What does this mean? It means that I am now starting to suffer with the idea of I only have a year left of my ‘late twenties’, when I am technically free to be myself as much as I can without being judged, because I am still in that late twenties bracket. Of course it is lot less crazy(?) and now more grown up behaviour than in my early twenties, when I did not give a toss about anything and just did as I liked. (Has that really changed?)

I know the word ‘early’ always seems to evoke something better, fresh or younger, but when it comes to an age, late twenties always sounds better than early thirties, do you not think so? And right now I can hear readers in their forties and fifties shouting: “Wait until you get to our age. You are still so young!” I hear what you say, but there is a peer pressure, pressure of social media and pressure from your family floating about. As soon as you step over that mark of 30 you are expected to have a decent job and qualifications, long term partner, applying for a mortgage, child on the way.

Once I met a guy for a brief moment, who made a judgemental comment, that I should make it within my field within three years of graduation. From his experience working in a recruitment agency, he said, he would call me something as ‘written off’ and would not bother looking at my cv further. I was gobsmacked and have not had much to say. Himself, late thirties, was between jobs telling me about this business he wants to start plus this and the other. I met him about a year later at the gig. It was kind of awkward, because after extremely overpolite small talk, I asked him how is his business. And there it was, he muttered: ‘Let’s not talk about work!’ and quickly changed the subject. I could not help wondering and actually enjoying the fact that it would have been embarassing for him to admit there is no business and he still has not quite made it even himself after giving me that big lecture.

If you are thinking that I am suffering some kind birthday crisis, yep, you are exactly right. I am nearly 29, still single, pretty penyless with no full time career going only with bags full of exciting stories and adventures to tell. Everyone around me seems to popping out children or being in sort of long term relationship progressing further. Just to put a cherry on top of the cake one of my  family members had an open discussion with other people online and in between lines labeled me as ‘one of those old mothers to be’. Great! Cannot make me feel any better.

Now where is the wine?! Yes, actually, I will have one or two or more, because I can! I make my own work timetable, so I decide if I party on Monday night, or Saturday night. I decide if I come home at 8am, which I actually did last week. I decide if I want other person I have some sort of relationship with to rule my life or if I let the social media make me feel upset about the social pressure of ‘already/not yet’. I may not have have clothes with the right label or latest hair cut, who cares, I have done things in my life money cannot buy. No one can undertand how it feels sleeping on top of the mountain inside a half open cave watching storms and lightning in the far. Or when you walk for three hours to get home with burning candle making sure it is still going as a part of a certain religious celebration. Or when inner desire for everything strange or unknown opens for you the most beautiful places and people out there.

Some things are simply not for everyone. And may be I am one of those people, who knows. We never know,what life has written for us. I may end up at the age of 45 still single flat sharing with my best male friend, drinking wine, listening to jazz. Or I might be having a baby by the time I am 30. (I hope not).  Whatever happens, happens for a reason.  Knowing myself, it certainly will be interesting as do not follow the usual brief of life. Now rant about age and social pressure is over.

And if you are wondering what I am doing for my birthday this year?! Well then, I am off to London to see a theatre show and party until dawn and dusk in a rhythm of jungle and drum’ n’ base making it memorable(?) for sure!

Back soon Kat  xx

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Day 21: Week three review and my favourite blogs& posts! 71 days to go!

Kat doodles about life and recommends:

Right today I should be reviewing my week, but I want to tell you about my favourite posts and blogs, so this will be super quick! I am on fire right about now! I have been productive or creative or both for the last 21 days and then managed to write about it, which in my eyes is special for definite. I had some lows such as passing out in hospital on Tuesday, but the rest of the week has been definitely on high. There are four different art projects I am suddenly putting my hands on, spreading myself over the internet, and just simply networking with other people in real life. It all feels lot more natural and somehow working. I have 71 days left to find myself full-time creative job within theatre design, interior design or any 3D spatial based industry or become fully self-employed. It is weird that somehow things have moved on quicker in the last three weeks then in the last three years since I graduated. There must be something about how people see you, how do you come across and in what way how you put yourself out there. I cannot explain it, but I hope you get what I mean. Anyway last thing to say to sum up this week is I celebrated nine years of living in Britain and today made group of retired ladies in a nursing home listen to me reading the post about it out loud after they finished their Monday afternoon quiz. Since I don’t see my grandmother very often, it is nice to hang out with them at least, and if it makes their day special, so why not to do a good thing. Plus they really (apparently) enjoyed it and clapped at the end. Very sweet of them!

I have added a new feature to my blog page. You can see ‘Posts I Like’ (Go to Appearance-Widgets-Posts I like)   now added to the left hand side column right at the bottom.  By being proactive for the last 21 days, I keep having about one new follower a day signing up to what I have to say. I have now 22 of them, how great is that!!! Thanks very much everybody! So I thought I would like to spread some love around, say Thank you for supporting me and let know the others about the great posts I get to read! Unfortunately some of them do not have Like button, but are worth mentioning. There are blogs, where I like the posts, but necessarily follow the page. It is because it is just not really my thing to read on ongoing basis, so please do not get offended. So here they are:

Learner Mother I have known Michelle Davis for years and always admiring her non stopping desire to do things. I guess when you have a husband (my now ex boss), two businesses two run and three children, there is not much of a choice. She writes about her life as a mum, her business ventures and house renovation and many other things. I just simply love her style of  writing, really useful advice she gives out and genuine interest of what is going on and how to help. My favourite blog posts recently are  On sleeping teeshirtsOn Credit Unions and On SW Broadband. If you like, you can follow Learner Mother as a blog and get e-mails from her. She won’t appear in my Posts I like, since she went self hosting, but she is working on how to get it back, so her posts can be liked. If anyone knows how to do it , I am sure you will praise you for telling her.

MasonBentleyStyle MasonBentley is a London based fashion label set up by Anna Mason and Kate Bentley. I think the main blogger is Kate, who started following my blog and although I am not really that fashion kind of person, I fall in love with her style of writing.  It connects fashion with the real world out there and makes it more I guess human is the word. Today’s post informed readers about splitting up the blog and label, but there are new plans, so I am sure there is lot more great work to be seen from both of them even they part separate ways. My recent favourite posts are A special day x talking about IVF, loosing babies and her daughter celebrating 7th birthday. Very moving! To the point it brought tears to my eyes. And the other one I really enjoyed is The Weekend x. Kate went to vintage fair in London, there are some really great photographs and I am sure lot more to see if you are a fan of this style.

The Culture Monk Kenneth Justice is blogging about I guess the life and people’s behaviour. He is reacting to everyday situations and putting it into wider prospect. When you look at his page, he has fairly big following, which indicates he must be doing something right. Since Kenneth started to follow my blog and I started following his, I really enjoyed these posts:  Just Today Please…REALLY???. He’s just too into you… Really???I thought We We’re Gonna Be Friends Forever…..What happened??

and here are few posts or blogs I enjoyed, but don’t necessarily follow.

The World’s Top 10 Best Ever Kit Kat Cakes. Blogger Russell also made me laugh when reading his little About, which comes in with e-mail notification, when he started following my blog: ” It is my job to make Websites famous! Maybe I could even help your blog to grow? But if you are reading this because I started following your blog then your blog doesn’t need it because it is already pretty awesome otherwise I wouldn’t follow it, and it is as simple as that.”How brilliant, you made my day Russell!

Nurse Reveals Top 5 Regrets People Make on Their Death Bed   That doesn’t really need much explaining…

Reasons Why You Should Travel While You are Young ItsRonEvan’ s blog about travels, adventures and tips.

A life less organised  Lovely and cute little blog full of reviews where to eat, drink and enjoy yourself in Bristol. It arrived in my e-mail account yesterday evening, so I haven’t had much chance to discover it properly, but it is written with love and certainly that personal critical touch. There are few sections about pub crawls in little areas of Bristol discovering all the local ciders and ales. If you like to be out and about I certainly recommend to follow nettastrophe’s blog.

Stay tuned for more blogs and posts in the future and if you share or follow my blog (www.katdesigner.wordpress.com) or like my Facebook Page (www.facebook.com/kat.portfolio), I will be over the moon! Thank You! Back tomorrow Kat xx

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