Kat doodles about life:
In couple of days, I am here in marvelous Paris, exactly three months. Lots happened since my arrival and all my friends constantly want to know how I have been so far. Now surely you must have told yourself sometimes when you went on holidays: “Oh it’s so beautiful here, let’s move and live here forever!”. Sounds familiar? Anyone already did it and then you realized it’s not a vacation but real life with the same bills, job and household chores? Your smile just disappeared? Yep.
I am happy and I don’t really want to rant (but I am doing so). It all can’t be perfect all the time, right? I just really want to vent off somewhere all those things I cannot even tell people, because not everyone around me speaks English. Did I mention my boyfriend? It’s like having a 24-hour language course. And I am paying by cooking and cleaning. My brain can’t take it all at once. You know I never thought it will be as hard as this. I went through so many other way more difficult situations, but this is really just somehow little different.
For over ten years I have been really independent. Wherever I went, I had a function. Reason to be there or do things. Like being an au pair, studying or simply working. This time I moved for love. Real love. Like the one you think you will never experience if you have been single so for long like me. And then when it happens, it is literally like a film script to a movie with Jennifer Anniston or Drew Barrymore in it. So really I had to take the chance and move to France without speaking the language and having a job!
It’s not really the fact that I am living in a foreign country again, it’s just all the things which normally are not issues on separate occasions, they are all now popping up at the same time. Just to explain- I live in a suburb of Paris, so it takes at least 50 minutes to get to some more of a “city” looking location as our local high street is kind of non-existent and it cost 12 euros to get out for a day. As my boyfriend is feeding two of us with his wages, I can’t just get out to the city every day.
Our local supermarket is of course only! ten minutes of drive, but I can’t even go and do it myself as I still don’t have the driving licence and even without that it freaks me out as they drive on the right side of the road, so no cycling either. At home it is constant French, with non-existing level of conversational English and majority of the time when we go out to see friends or family. Of course there are some, who really try, which is so sweet, but can’t I help myself suffering oral and friendship deficiency. Surely there is some sort of number of words people say on average per day and mine is normally above the average. I feel like I need a word transfusion. Oh and how much I miss those evenings when “let’s go for two drinks” turns into next day hangover, which is so worth it.
I am with the man I love, but I lost my independence, friends, bike, jobs and I can’t even do the things like going to a doctor or just simply get things organized, because I speak like a four-year child. Although I guess I need to bring some sacrifice, because I live in one of the most beautiful cities in the world, drink wine, which tastes like out of this world (and that’s only like 7 euros a bottle) and eat the cheese you can’t even buy in the UK. Oh that’s right who are you kidding most of you are thinking- I would swap any time. As they say the grass is always greener on the other side.
So anyway I have managed to finish my TEFL course, so I can officially teach English. However the problem is it’s not quite the hiring season and the only jobs out there are two-hour here and there having to travel for ages there and back, which exactly turned out to be the first job I got when I arrived the first week here. So I have been spending days and days at the computer, filling forms, which now somehow all turn into French due to the location of my computer, looking for work. However it is frustrating that the fact that I speak three different languages can’t get me a job because I don’t speak French. May be this is the reason I haven’t really been that fabulous as I am currently missing purpose in my life apart from making perfect lasagne and welcoming home. Let’s hope the spring and a job arrive soon. Let’s also hope for the sake of my trousers. Searching anything bigger than size 10 is “mission impossible”.
Now I wrote all this down, I feel so much better. I know, I should really blog more often. Well now I have a table and a chair, finished TEFL, clean home with dinner cooked for the next two days, may be I will.
With love from Paris