Not long after my fairly positive post, it is time to report on the recent meltdown I had. Of course I think of you readers! It would be pretty boring bringing you just good news.
Whilst learning for the driving theory test, there would be so many questions on repeat about your personal state of mind before you sit behind the wheel just about to drive off. Of course typical ones like drinking the alcohol, taking medicine or having an argument.
I have managed to get myself into trouble, not that I purposely wanted to of course. It resulted then in not having much sleep with way too much on my mind. As it happened the next day I had a driving lesson and it did not go well. With having my test date booked and only certain amount of lessons to practice, my instructor (or me) was not impressed about me doing stupid mistakes like not being in first gear when driving off (about six times, what an idiot) or not being able to pass junction properly. I could not wait for the lesson to be over.
That’s just the beginning. On Saturday night as I am cycling back from work at 3 am and I am passing a junction dressed in neon vest, lights at the front and back and neon circle on my foot as I am cycling behind a car, there is one oncoming waiting to turn. And as I keep going, he suddenly starts to turn and I know he is about to hit me. And he did. The front of his car went literally into my back wheel like I was not even there. I fell into massive paddle, thankfully nothing broken, but I ended up in a bit of a shock. He got out going: ” I could not see you”, which of course sent me into great furry as I was dressed in neon. Thankfully there were three young men, who picked me up and started to fix my chain, but by the time I recovered from the shock, the driver was gone without me taking his details.
As I continue cycling back home shaking and thinking, oh may be I should stop and catch the bus, suddenly bike slows down. Surprise, surprise I got a puncture. Brilliant. That means it won’t be possible to walk with the bike all the way home as I am not really in a fit state anyway, having to find bike shop open on Sunday and spending more money than I can currently afford. Thank goodness for the modern technology I found a bike shop open on Sunday with not long to walk, so I parked the bike in the not exactly most safest area and caught the bus home whilst listening to singing drunks.
With four hours of sleep I returned back to town, and to cut the long story short after waiting for about six hours for it to be fixed with nothing to do than browsing shops and accidentally bumping into my ex after nearly a year, I eventually got home totally exhausted. Just the way you imagine spending Sunday.
Recently I have managed to pick up quite a bit of extra shifts at work, so I would be doing long hours and having to travel long way away from, where I live. Since I still don’t have the car, it has been very much 4:45 am start and I won’t get home until 5pm just to do 7-hour shift. But at least it means cash, so I am not complaining.
So on Tuesday with a day off reserved for driving lesson I sit in the car and I ended up having another terrible session. We were practicing parking and reversing round the corner and I was just useless. Then I did few really stupid mistakes. We stopped and I ended up having a meltdown.
Thefreedictonary website describes meltdown as an emotional breakdown or “severe overheating of a nuclear reactor core, resulting in melting of the core and escape of radiation”. By the look of my face you could not tell the difference. He did offer me to take me back home, but then I found my inner strength determined to finish the lesson myself. As you know I am not a quitter. I was actually better.
The last the time I felt this stressed and anxious was just before graduating at uni finishing our final exhibition. I did not sleep for three days. And I promised myself not to feel like this ever again. Currently I have about six different problems to solve and my body is obviously sending a message I better take step back and calm down.
Not that I needed that before but after googling how to calm down (http://www.wikihow.com/Calm-Down) , I thought I share these tips with you.
1. Breathe in for three seconds, hold it for 5 seconds, breathe out for another 3.
2. Roll shoulders backwards as high as possibly, about 3-4 times.
3. Lie flat on your back, close your eyes, start to feel enlightened starting from toes to the head.
4. Write down is the worst what could happen.
5. Distract yourself physically, touch or squeeze an object 50 times, count to 20, write a journal or be creative.
6. Stay positive- you are not alone in this situation. Other people go through the same problem.
7. Avoid stress- avoid people you have arguments with, surround yourself with supportive people, spend some ‘me’ time, meditate or surround yourself with nature.
8. Take control of your life.
So I took the advice 1, 2, 4, 5 and 7 and made steps towards inner calm. Writing number 4 down was very helpful as it makes you write also plan of actions. I did that and now things are moving on. I have been practicing those breathing techniques for the last four days and guess what? My driving lesson today was lot better.
So how do you deal with a meltdown?
Calm evening and the rest of the weekend wishes Kat xxx